Recruitment
Div 3 Skill, 6v6
mettbroetchenstyle
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Seems like my other Rec-Post ist gone, so here is a new one.
Finally summer is gone, and still need a Team.
Now you can start trolling. :)
User Profile | SteamID: U:1:9100565
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content rss
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAaBJojysNU
Oh man, 20 Germans are looking for a team, nobody likes you! There is no hope for European Union. :O
Bauarbeitermarmelade > all
Bump.
suchst du noch ?
wenn du offen für div 4 bist adde mich
i heard ATR might need a new demo, just rumors I’ve heard
im hungry
once upon a time, they said, there will be a time… no longer has anyone to be hungry, mettbroetchen growing on trees, rivers of beer and free high speed internet for everyone… but but but hmmm i said what what in the butt…
yeah i know, im talking shit :)
http://www.pown.it/4338
Wer kennt sie nicht, die Tage an denen man schon am frühen Morgen denkt, dass der gesamte Tag schon für den Allerwertesten ist. Nicht einmal ein bisschen Licht ins Zimmer gelassen, oder aus dem Fenster gesehen und schon keine Lust mehr wach zu bleiben. Man quält sich dennoch hoch, denn nur rumliegen ist irgendwie dann auch zu Monoton und Langweilig. Die erste Kippe schmeckt ungefähr so, wie man selbst aussieht, ziemlich beschissen. Die Augen kaum auf, die Haare hängen einem ins Gesicht und die Augenringe könnten schon um den Saturn kreisen und wären dennoch von der Erde aus zu sehen.
Also im Grunde ein ganz normaler Morgen in einem nicht ganz so normalen Leben.
Kippe fertig, Kraft und Motivation genug gesammelt um das erste mal das Zimmer zu verlassen. Direkter Weg zur Toilette. Nach Beendigung des Geschäftes während dem Fingerwaschen einmal kurz in den Spiegel geschaut. Nachdem der erste Schock verdaut ist und man doch feststellt, es ist kein Zombie in dem Spiegel der mir da so diabolisch entgegengrinst, es bin wirklich ich, ist man nun wach genug um die Kaffeemaschine bedienen zu können. Es geht doch nichts über etwas delikate Teersuppe. In diesem moment denke ich mir: “Hm, wenn ich weiterhin so starken Kaffee koche, wird es schwer werden mit der Vertragsverlängerung meines Magen-Darm-Traktes und in vier Wochen beginnen die neuen Tarifverhandlungen.”
Und irgendwie war das eine interessante Vorstellung. Was wäre denn, wenn wir wirklich mit unseren Körperteilen und Innereien verhandeln müssten. Würden wir sie dann pfleglicher behandeln? Denn seien wir doch mal ehrlich, so sehr wir uns über die Arbeitsbedingungen und Zustände hier auch aufregen, niemand hat es so schwer wie unser eigener Körper. Bedenken sie nur mal das Zwerchfell, ewiglich im Dunkeln wird es gemobbt von uns selbst und lächerlich gemacht. Stellen sie sich das doch einfach mal als betriebliche Situation vor. Sie sind der Chef von ihrem Körper, haben im obersten Stock ein Riesenbüro. Aber wie es eben dann so ist, kennen sie nicht wirklich jeden ihrer Mitarbeiter, geschweige denn die Aufgaben einzelner. Und plötzlich stehen sie vor einem riesen Problem, das Zwerchfell streikt wegen schlechter Arbeitsbedingungen. Wissen sie was dann passieren würde? Nunja, wenn es seine Kollegen aus derselben Abteilung mitreißt, könnte es sein, dass ihnen die Luft wegbleibt. Oder um es ein wenig genauer auszudrücken, sie würden sterben weil sie nicht mehr atmen. Das Zwerchfell so wie auch die Rippenzwischenmuskeln sind die Hauptverantwortlichen für den Atmungsvorgang. Oh Schreck wenn die nicht mehr wollen.
Aber was solls, zum Glück brauchen wir uns mit solchen Gedanken nicht wirklich auseinander setzen. Schon eher musste ich mich mit dem Gedanken beschäftigen, durch meine reiche Vorstellungskraft mal wieder nicht wirklich aufgepasst zu haben wo ich hinlatsche. Logischerweise, wie sollte es an so einem Tag auch anders sein, machte mal wieder ein Zeh bekanntschaft mit der Tür. Aber nicht irgendein Zeh, es musste natürlich der kleine Zeh vom
rechten Fuß sein. Und schon bin ich wieder in dem obrigen Gedankengang: “Entweder will der mich verarschen und in den Wahnsinn treiben, oder das blöde Mistvieh geht mir mit der Tür fremd. Mal die Webcam laufen lassen wenn ich schlafe, wer weiß was die beiden da alles machen.” Schon eine komische Vorstellung, der eigene Zeh geht einem Fremd. Blanke Ironie verpackt in völligem Schwachsinn. Aber jedenfalls konnte ich so die sonst so anstrengenden sieben Meter bis zu meiner Kommunikationszentrale überbrücken und kam etwas ausgeruhter an als sonst. Wie immer zu faul zum bücken um den Rechner zu starten, aber sauer genug auf meinen kleinen Zeh um ihn als Werkzeug zu benutzen und mit einem leichten tritt die Kiste einzuschalten. Die Zeit des hochfahrens genutzt um sich eine weitere Kippe zu drehen, durchwandere ich nebenbei noch mit einem Blick mal mein Zimmer. Ein bisschen Licht scheint durch die mit Decken behängten Fenster, scheint hell zu sein draußen. Ein Blick auf die Uhr meines Rechners bestätigte meine Vermutung, es ist hellichter Tag. Das beste was man in so einem Moment machen kann, für musikalische Untermalung sorgen. Ergo den WinAmp starten und sich erstmal mit sanfter Berieslung einer Deathcore-Band in den Tag einfühlen.
Nachdem die ersten grundlegenden Bedürfnisse im www (meiner meinung nach heißt es immer “welt-weites-warten” anstatt world-wide-web) gestillt sind, erstmal wieder zurück in die Küche und Kaffee geholt. Jedoch habe ich die Tür diesmal nicht vergessen, nicht nur das ich meinen Fuß galant um sie herum bewege, den bösen Blick muss sie auch noch abbekommen. Das hätte mir auch noch gefehlt, eine Revolution der Türen. Ich mag gar nicht drüber nachdenken was dann alles passieren könnte. Nun gut, ich habe es eben schon getan ja, sie haben mich erwischt. Jedoch will ich das hier nicht niederschreiben, denn dann würde ich der Tür ja noch einen gefallen erweisen und ihr eine gewisse Rolle in dieser Geschichte zuteilen. Das sehe ich einfach nicht ein nach ihrem hinterhältigen Attentat auf mich.
Mett stop using drugs!!
Also:
I am Shamash Din Choudhry,British citizen and Principal assurance manager for the HSBC in London. A staff of Yokozona consultancy firm got in touch with me regarding the estate of Simeon Arag. And an investment placed under our banks management 3 years ago. I would respectfully request that you keep the contents of this mail confidential and respect the integrity of the information you come by as a result of this mail. I contact you independently of our investigation and no one is informed of this communication. I would like to intimate you with certain facts that I believe would be of interest to you.
In 1997, the subject matter;Simeon Arag came to our bank to engage in business discussions with our private banking division. He informed us that he had a financial portfolio of 8.35 million United States dollars, which he wished to have us turn over (invest) on his behalf. I was the officer assigned to his case, I made numerous suggestions in line with my duties as the de-facto chief operations officer, especially given the volume of funds he wished to put into our bank. We met on numerous occasions prior to any investments being placed. I encouraged him to consider various growth funds with prime ratings. The favored route in my advice to customers is to start by assessing data on 6000 traditional stocks and bond managers and 2000 managers of alternative investments. Based on my advice, We spun the money around various opportunities and made attractive margins for our first months of operation, the accrued profit and interest stood at this point at over 10 million United States Dollars, this margin was not the full potential of the fund but he desired low risk guaranteed returns on investments. In mid 1998, he asked that the money be liquidated because he needed to make an urgent investment requiring cash payments in United Kindom. He directed that I liquidate the funds and had it deposited with United Assets Management Uk (in their Securities Trading Firm).
I informed him that HSBC London would have to make special arrangements to have this done and in order not to circumvent due process, the bank would have to make a 9.5 % deduction from the funds to cater for banking and statutory charges. He complained about the charges but later came around when I explained to him the complexities of the task he was asking of us. Cash movement across boarders has become especially strict since the incidents of 9/11. I contacted my affiliate in United Kingdom and had the funds available in United Assets Management.I undertook all the processes and made sure I followed his precise instructions to the letter and had the funds deposited at United Assets Management Uk United Kindom. United Assets Management Uk is a specialist bank that accepts deposits from high net worth individuals and blue chip corporations that handle valuable products or undertake transactions that need immediate access to cash. In Line with instructions, the money was deposited with United Assets Management Uk (in their Securities Trading Firm). Simeon Arag told me he wanted the money there as soon as he got into the United Kindom,This was the last communication we had, this transpired around 25th February 1999.In Sept last year, we got a call from United Assets Management Uk informing us about the inactivity of that particular portfolio. This was an astounding position as far as I was concerned, given the fact that I managed the International private banking sector I was the only one who knew about the deposit at United Assets Management Uk, and I could not understand why Simeon Arag had not come forward to claim his deposit. I made futile efforts to locate Simeon Arag. Four days later, information started to trickle in, apparently Simeon Arag was dead. A person who suited his description was declared dead of AUTO ACCIDENT TRAUMA in Birmingham England. We were soon enough able to identify the body and cause of death was confirmed. The bank immediately launched an investigation into possible surviving next of kin to alert about the situation and also to come forward to claim his estate. In the field of private banking, opening an account with us means no one will know of its existence, accounts are rarely held under a name; depositors use numbers and codes to make the accounts anonymous. This bank also gives the choice to depositors of having their mail sent to them or held at the bank itself, ensuring that there are no traces of the account and as I said, rarely do they nominate next of kin. Private banking clients apart from not nominating next of kin also usually in most cases leave wills in our care, in this case;Simeon Arag died in testate.
In line with our internal processes for account holders who have passed away, we instituted our own investigations in good faith to determine who should have right to claim the estate. This investigation has for the past months been unfruitful. We have scanned every continent and used our private investigation affiliate companies to get to the root of the problem. It is this investigation that resulted in my being furnished with your details as a possible relative of the deceased. My official capacity dictates that I am the only party to supervise the investigation and the only party to receive the results of the investigation. You have unfortunately declared, and I know that you are in no way affiliated with this individual. What this means, you being the last batch of names we have considered is that our dear late fellow died with no known or identifiable family member. This leaves me as the only person with the full picture of what the prevailing situation is in relation to the deposit and the late beneficiary of the deposit.
According to practice, United Assets Management Uk will by the end of this quarter broadcast a request for statements of claim to HSBC in London, failing to receive viable claims they will most probably revert the deposit back to HSBC in London. This will result in the money entering the HSBC in London accounting system and the portfolio will be out of my hands and out of the private banking division. This will not happen if I have my way.What I wish to relate to you will smack off unethical practice but I want you to understand something. It is only an outsider to the banking world who finds the internal politics of the banking world aberrational. The world of private banking especially is fraught with huge rewards for those who occupy certain offices and oversee certain portfolios. You should have begun by now to put together the general direction of what I propose. There is US$ 8,370,000.00 deposited in United Assets Management Uk, I alone have the deposit details and they will release the deposit to no one unless I instruct them to do so. I alone know of the existence of this deposit for as far as United Assets Management Uk is concerned, the transaction with Simeon Arag concluded when I sent the funds to United Assets Management Uk, all outstanding interactions in relation to the file are just customer services and due process. United Assets Management Uk has no single idea of the history or nature of the deposit. They are simply awaiting instructions to release the deposit to any party that comes forward. This is the situation. This bank has spent great amounts of money trying to track this man’s family; they have investigated for months and have found no family. The investigation has come to an end.
My proposal, I am prepared to place you as the next of kin in a position to instruct United Assets Management Uk to release the deposit to you as the closest surviving relation. Upon receipt of the deposit, I am prepared to share the money with you in half. That is: I will simply nominate you as the next of kin and have them release the deposit to you. We share the proceeds 50/50.I would have gone ahead to ask the funds be released to me, but that would have drawn a straight line in my involvement in claiming the deposit. I assure you that I could have the deposit released to you within a few days. I will simply inform the bank of the final closing of the file relating to Simeon Arag I will then officially communicate with United Assets Management Uk and instruct them to release the deposit to you. With these: all is done. I am aware of the consequences of this proposal. I ask that if you find no interest in this project that you should discard this mail. I ask that you do not be vindictive and destructive. If my offer is of no appeal to you, delete this message and forget I ever contacted you. Do not destroy my career because you do not approve of my proposal. You may not know this but people like myself who have made tidy sums out of comparable situations run the whole private banking sector. I am not a criminal and what I do, I do not find against good conscience, this may be hard for you to understand, but the dynamics of my industry dictates that I make this move. Such opportunities only come ones way once in a lifetime. I cannot let this chance pass me by, for once I find myself in total control of my destiny. These chances wont pass me by. I ask that you do not destroy my chance, if you will not work with me let me know and let me move on with my life but do not destroy me. I am a family man and this is an opportunity to provide them with new opportunities. There is a reward for this project and it is a task well worth undertaking. I have evaluated the risks and the only risk I have here is from you refusing to work with me and alerting my bank. I am the only one who knows of this situation, good fortune has blessed you with a name that has planted you into the center of relevance in my life. Lets share the blessing.
If you give me positive signals, I will initiate this process towards a conclusion. I wish to inform you that should you contact me via official channels; I will deny knowing you and about this project. I repeat, I do not want you contacting me through my official phone lines nor do I want you contacting me through my official email account. Contact me only through the numbers I will provide for you and also through this email address. I do not want any direct link between you and me. My official lines are not secure lines as they are periodically monitored to assess our level of customer care in line with our Total Quality Management Policy.Please observe this instruction religiously. Please, again, note I am a family man, I have wife and children. I send you this mail not without a measure of fear as to what the consequences, but I know within me that nothing ventured is nothing gained and that success and riches never come easy or on a platter of gold. This is the one truth I have learned from my private banking clients. Do not betray my confidence as I would appreciate that you copy and respond back to me via this given email contact:[email protected], If we can be of one accord, we should plan a meeting, soon.
I await your response.
Respectfully,
Shamash Din Choudhry.
i dont use drugs, just have good sex :)
You’re on the interwebs. There’s only virgins on the interwebs.
Sertralin dürfte helfen ;)
mettbroetchenstyle: said:
October 8th, 2012 at 18:55
i dont use drugs
BEST JOKE EVER