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Brink
Created 8th May 2011 @ 22:43
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I know a person who works for people making brink; therefore; win
Quoted from Daleth
[…]
you’re wrong; brink will be shit
LIVING PROOF that it will be shit
Quoted from kuma
This is a letter I have planned on writing for some time, a letter that I think is extremely important and one that obviously must be heeded if we are to undo the damage caused by Mr. Skyride. Let us note first of all that we have a choice. Either we let ourselves be led like lambs to the slaughter by Skyride and his acolytes or we draw a picture of what we conceive of under the word “noninterventionalist”. While I don’t expect you to have much trouble making up your mind you should nevertheless consider that I strive to be consistent in my arguments. I can’t say that I’m 100% true to this, but Skyride’s frequent vacillating leads me to believe that when a friend wants to drive inebriated, you try to stop him. Well, Skyride is drunk with power, which is why we must make plans and carry them out. And if you think that sadism forms the core of any utopian society, then you aren’t thinking very clearly.
For the moment, Skyride makes no secret of the fact that we must understand that while his helpers have been gorging themselves on the intravenous feeding tube called denial, Skyride has been forming the association in the public’s mind between any prevarications he disagrees with and the ideas of hate and violence and illegality. And we must formulate that understanding into as clear and cogent a message as possible. His squadristi are merely ciphers. Skyride is the one who decides whether or not to insist that our society be infested with antagonism, immoralism, classism, and an impressive swarm of other “isms”. Skyride is the one who gives out the orders to plunge us into the dark abyss of annihilation. And Skyride is the one trying to conceal how he says that he wants to make life better for everyone. Lacking a coherent ideology, however, he always ends up creating massive civil unrest. Although he wants to lobotomize everyone caught thinking an independent thought, if we fail to give our propaganda fighters an instrument that is very much needed at this time, then we have no one to blame but ourselves.
I once tried to explain to Skyride that his double standards will dispense outright misinformation and flashlight-under-the-chin ghost stories. Rather than feel ashamed of himself, Skyride got angry at me. What this says is that I’m not in the habit of giving advice to Skyride’s termagant cronies. However, there’s always a first time: You guys should stop replacing our timeless traditions with Skyride’s virulent, perverted ones. I admit I don’t have much confidence that they’ll follow that advice, but it’s important to make it known that we must stop tiptoeing and begin marching boldly and forthrightly towards our goal, which is to do what needs to be done. For years I’ve been warning people that Skyride plans to encourage and exacerbate passivity in some people who might otherwise be active and responsible citizens. However, that’s not my entire message; it’s only a part of it. I also want you to know that for Skyride’s damnable plans to succeed, he needs to dumb down our society. An uninformed populace is easier to control and manipulate than an educated populace. Faster than you can say “counterintelligence”, schoolchildren will stop being required to learn the meanings of words like “nondeterministic” and “anthropomorphization”. They will be incapable of comprehending that I used to believe that Skyride was an unconscionable nutter. However, after seeing how he wants to reduce history to an overdetermined, wireframe sketch of what are, in reality, complex, dynamic events, I now have an even lower opinion of him. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that the gloss that Skyride’s vassals put on Skyride’s disquisitions unfortunately does little to put to rest foolish and brainless belief systems such as Skyride’s. Mr. Skyride is a vulture living on the labor and the good nature of the rest of the world. May we never forget this if we are to deny Skyride and his understrappers a chance to lower our standard of living.
And this is why I love the tf2 community, they will satirise intellectual conversation, using terms, concepts and language to say nothing at all, on a forum about a competitive video game. I will miss this if tf2 ever goes away.
Quoted from CrashSite
[…]
And this is why I love the tf2 community, they will satirise intellectual conversation, using terms, concepts and language to say nothing at all, on a forum about a competitive video game. I will miss this if tf2 ever goes away.
I may be risking my life by telling you this, but narcissism is a source of livelihood for Mr. Crashsite , Ph.D.. Here’s the story: We must drag Crashsite in front of a tribunal and try him for his crimes against humanity. Our children depend on that. Given this context, we need to return to the idea that motivated this letter: He drops the names of famous people whenever possible. That makes Crashsite sound smarter than he really is and obscures the fact that his maudlin, kissy-pooh, feel-good, touchy-feely publicity stunts are actually quite muzzy-headed when you look at them a bit closer. An equal but opposite observation is that we ought to deal with the relevant facts. That’ll make Crashsite think once—I would have said “twice” but I don’t see any indication that he has previously given any thought to the matter—before trying to turn back the clock and repeal all the civil rights and anti-discrimination legislation now on the books.
Where are the solid statistics that prove that Crashsite can conjure up dirt against his fellow human beings and get away with it? I’ve never seen any. Yet, Crashsite can’t fool me. I’ve met uncongenial schmucks before so I know that this is not wild speculation. This is not a conspiracy theory. This is documented fact. Let us now report as best as possible the facts and circumstances surrounding Mr. Crashsite , Ph.D.’s ungrateful, crotchety campaigns of malice and malignity because in that is our only hope for the future.
Quoted from dougiie
[…]
I may be risking my life by telling you this, but narcissism is a source of livelihood for Mr. Crashsite , Ph.D.. Here’s the story: We must drag Crashsite in front of a tribunal and try him for his crimes against humanity. Our children depend on that. Given this context, we need to return to the idea that motivated this letter: He drops the names of famous people whenever possible. That makes Crashsite sound smarter than he really is and obscures the fact that his maudlin, kissy-pooh, feel-good, touchy-feely publicity stunts are actually quite muzzy-headed when you look at them a bit closer. An equal but opposite observation is that we ought to deal with the relevant facts. That’ll make Crashsite think once—I would have said “twice” but I don’t see any indication that he has previously given any thought to the matter—before trying to turn back the clock and repeal all the civil rights and anti-discrimination legislation now on the books.
Where are the solid statistics that prove that Crashsite can conjure up dirt against his fellow human beings and get away with it? I’ve never seen any. Yet, Crashsite can’t fool me. I’ve met uncongenial schmucks before so I know that this is not wild speculation. This is not a conspiracy theory. This is documented fact. Let us now report as best as possible the facts and circumstances surrounding Mr. Crashsite , Ph.D.’s ungrateful, crotchety campaigns of malice and malignity because in that is our only hope for the future.
Very Kafka-like.
Last edited by CrashSite,
Quoted from CrashSite
[…]
Very Kafka-like.
Is Kafka’s lack of intelligence genetic or the result of too much time spent with unctuous, offensive renegades? If you’ve ever wondered about the answer to that question, then read on. What follows is a series of remarks addressed to the readers of this letter and to Kafka himself. Although he wants to purge the land of every non-snarky person, gene, idea, and influence, if we fail to cross-examine his venal principles, then we have no one to blame but ourselves. His only motivation is an uncontrollable attachment to wealth and power. You don’t need to be the smartest guy on the planet to figure that out. Heck, even the lowliest Joe Six-Pack knows that our battle with Kafka is a battle between spiritualism and recidivism, between tradition and subversion, between the defenders of Western civilization and its enemies. With the battle lines drawn as such, it is abundantly clear that Kafka is addicted to the feeling of power, to the idea of controlling people. Sadly, he has no real concern for the welfare or the destiny of the people he desires to lead.
Kafka has repeatedly been spotted threatening the existence of human life, perhaps all life on the planet. When questioned about that, he either denies any knowledge of it or offers unbelievable and ludicrous explanations that only a dissolute boor could believe. Forgive me, dear reader, but I must be so tactless as to remind you that I’m convinced that he will promote, foster, and institute Maoism by the next full moon. No, I’m not in tinfoil-hat land; I have abundant evidence from reliable sources that this is the case. For instance, Kafka’s teachings are not restrained by any moral scruples. Regular readers of my letters probably take that for granted, but if I am to extend the compass of democracy to the worst sorts of sinister spouters there are, I must explain to the population at large that I despise everything about Kafka. I despise Kafka’s attempts to tear down everything that can possibly be regarded as a support of cultural elevation. I despise how he insists that university professors must conform their theses and conclusions to his violent prejudices if they want to publish papers and advance their careers. Most of all, I despise his complete obliviousness to the fact that if history follows its course, it should be evident that I want to live my life as I see fit. I can’t do that while Kafka still has the ability to turn me, a typically mild-mannered person, into a baleful vat of revanchism.
To be honest I was waiting for a thread like this to come up. I’ve had just about enough of the TF2 community and it’s antics. In particular I have had enough of Dougie!
Before you dismiss me as beer-guzzling, hear me out. His jackals can’t defend their press releases. To cap that off, one of the things I find quite interesting is listening to other people’s takes on things. For instance, I recently overheard some folks remark that failure to recognize this salient point will result in his getting free reign to concentrate all the wealth of the world into his own hands. I submit that everyone should stop and mull that assertion. Then, people will understand why if we briefly prescind from the main point of this letter we can focus on how mankind needs to do more to stop this insanity. Understand, I am not condemning mankind for not doing enough; I am merely stating that courage is what we need to complain about rapacious four-flushers—not politeness, not intellectual flair, not cleverness with words, just courage. And it sometimes takes a lot of courage to look a snippy, jaundiced thought policeman in the eye and tell him that I am making a pretty serious accusation here. I am accusing Dougie of planning to inculcate militant philosophies. And I don’t want anyone to think that I am basing my accusation only on the fact that if one believes statements like, “Dougie can override nature,” one is, in effect, supporting pompous pissants.
Okay, I’ve written enough for one wall of text, so let me just finish by saying that Dougie can out-reason deranged mafia dons but not anyone else.
Iim not in the circljerk but really if you’ve been following the news recently, you know that skyrides circlejerk is becoming ever more audacious in its unappeasable hatred of us. However, you might not know that my efforts to break the spell of great expectations that now binds alarmism-prone goof-offs to skyrides circlejerk lead skyrides circlejerk to pray for my effacement as fervently as I pray for its. For the sake of review, our current parlous situation is the result of a toxic combination of skyrides circlejerk’s recklessness and its admirers’ cupidity. But the problems with skyrides circlejerk’s beliefs don’t end there. Skyrides circlejerk would have us believe that the cure for evil is more evil. Such flummery can be quickly dissipated merely by skimming a few random pages from any book on the subject.
Skyrides circlejerk’s seemingly egalitarian ideas lead only to results that are both petty and unfair. And if that seems like a modest claim, I disagree. It’s the most radical claim of all. Nevertheless, skyrides circlejerk sometimes uses the word “protocatechualdehyde” when describing its writings. Beware! This is a buzzword designed for emotional response. By my word, in a recent essay, skyrides circlejerk stated that it can scare us by using big words like “floccinaucinihilipilification”. Since the arguments it made in the rest of its essay are based in part on that assumption, it should be aware that it just isn’t true. Not only that, but I have no set opinion as to whether or not I have had to restrain myself from rebuking it more vehemently. I do, however, unquestionably think that skyrides circlejerk insists that it has no choice but to subvert time-tested societal norms. Its reasoning is that its sophistries provide a liberating insight into life, the universe, and everything. Yes, I realize that that argument makes no sense, but skyrides circlejerk’s premise (that character development is not a matter of “strength through adversity” but rather, “entitlement through victimization”) is its morality disguised as pretended neutrality. Skyrides circlejerk uses this disguised morality to support its protests, thereby making its argument self-refuting. Now that you’ve reached the end of this letter, let me leave you with the key take-away message: I invite you to talk to skyrides circlejerk yourself if you feel that I’m misrepresenting its position.
everyone has to post a fucking wall of text to express 5-10 words!
Last edited by alfa,
Apparently, a lot of people like getting involved in social groups that apply the rule of the alpha male. When the alpha male does something, his flock will follow suit, so as to be “cool”.
These communities also share what one may call “social services”. Often holding mass gatherings, these communities then perform a “circlejerk”, an act whereby the community forms a circle and grabs hold of his immediate partner’s penis and proceeds to masturbate. This curious act is considered to be a rite of adulthood; a circlejerk proves that he can become a man. It is also used, in modern times, as a lonely man’s means to pleasure inaccessible by other means than his humble hand.
Dr. Lucas Papashvilli, a reknown primate researcher and reknown theorist on primitive lifeforms, concluded that a circlejerk represents an act of formality, since very few of the “young ones” actually undergo this rite of passage. It seems that a circlejerk is considered an elite event, reserved only for the pleasure of the high-classed primates.
He also said, in his thesis, that circlejerks are considered elite due to the difficulty of acquiring a minimum of 8 members required to start a circlejerk. Another problem that arises is the unsatisfactory penis size of the participants. A deep study indicated that primates with small penis sizes are often shunned over their bigger counterparts. These primates prefer penises ranging from 7-9 inches since it leaves plenty of, and I quote Dr. Papashvilli, “jerking space”.
The climax of the event, as ironic as it may sound, is not the climax. Having observed many circlejerks for his study, Dr. Papashvilli notes that not all circlejerks can result in simultaneous orgasms. In fact, he found that the primates are at their frenziest when the alpha male steps in the center of the circle and portrays his generally larger-than-the-rest penis. This alpha male then proceeds to masturbate, which is the cue to start the circlejerk. If any party member achieves climax and ejaculates before the alpha male, the unfortunate primate is forced to stop the elite event and is shamefully castrated violently by the alpha male. If any party member has a larger penis than that of the alpha male, the alpha male is forced to give up his status or risk having his precious penis cut off.
The ritual of circlejerking has lasted throughout the evolution of primates and is now dominant amongst humans, albeit in a different form. Although group masturbation is still a high possibility in some communities, the general consensus regarding modern circlejerking is the fact that the alpha male is now replaced with a prominent Internet forum figure. Once this figure starts something on a forums, it is immediately followed through by his circlejerking community. Unfortunately for us, Dr. Papashvilli passed away recently and has given us no light into this new circlejerk method. Hopefully we will have a willing scientist(s) who will study this fascinating method of primates.
-sorry, doing physics assignment late night, couldn’t fucking resist lololol
Quoted from Linus
http://www.joystiq.com/2011/05/10/brink-review/
http://xbox360.ign.com/articles/116/1166987p1.html
sick burn
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