Some stuff I need to get off my chest

11 years ago

Hey guys,

I’ve been trying to not make a post for the last few months because 1) these type of posts always feel horrifically narcissistic and 2) it’s not really an “I’m leaving goodbye, uninstalling tf2” (which would be completely redundant since my total playtime in the last 6 months bassically amounts to 2 mixes and half a dozen lobbies).

This time last year I was confident we could make TF2 into a major esport, or at the very least something where the top teams had more to look forward to than 1 partially funded LAN every 12 months and a new set of mid-range peripherals for winning etf2l. It wasn’t blind hope, I could genuinely see a path and series of not entirely impossible events that could land us there. I still do. The problem is this would require a level of input, support and dedication from the community that it has demonstrated time and time again over the last 6 years that it is not willing to provide.

I’d like to clarify that I – in spirit – left VanillaTV at some point around the beginning of December, and finally made it official to others in the organisation just after the new year. The people that are now the casting branch of TF.TV (and ESEA Orange) contacted me at some point in October stating they’d likely be leaving eXtv at the end of the season and wanted to discuss the possibility of expanding VanillaTV to NA with them. I along with a few others planned out exactly how we could, should, and shouldn’t do it. The whole extine vs ESEA thing forced our hand on it, and unfortunately as a direct result of how the VTV higher ups dealt with this issue, the group in question lost any interest in joining us and decided to join up with TF.TV. I respected their decision at the time and agree it made sense.

It does hurt though. After spending 3hrs arguing what a blindingly obviously good idea this would have been for VTV and finally getting permission, I spent 2 days working on all the production assets you saw in that ESEA final, while still trying to argue how obvious it would be to get these guys on board, right in the middle of the final week I had to complete my projects for uni that year. Then spent hours hunting through vods, getting them off twitch, converted to be compatible with yt, and uploaded. Then it all comes undone because a few key people have rubbed some other key people the wrong way. That really hurts.

I wish VTV all the best in future, however I do not believe at this point in time they are doing right by the community, nor is it their main intention to do so.

I’d also like to address what went on with Pixel Pickup. Pixel was the result of me one day deciding to stop going “oh gee it’d be great if ‘x’” and instead to just make that thing happen through time and effort, however much it may cost. I’d say for about 18 months I was happy enough with Pixel, but with the growing apathy towards new player coming into the scene, the circlejerk known as “Newbie Mixes”, “exclusive” late night double mixes, and not to mention TF2Lobby, I really couldn’t see a way to keep the channel self-sustaining.

Many like to point fingers at me and go “oh you didn’t do ‘x'”, “there wasn’t team balance”, “the bot went off occasionally”, etc. While I’ll accept some of them as valid criticism, the simple fact remains that pickup activity is the epitome of the TF2 community’s “talk big, walk small” nature. For every 10 posts about pickups being dead by people who agree that active pickups a Good Thing™, there is maybe about 1 person who genuinely wants to play pickups. Stating that a pickup channel should be a, b, c and d is all fine and well until you’re the person pouring dozens of hours a week into something that nobody is using. “Build it and they will come” is simply not a concept that exists in TF2.

Lastly, I’d like to address the situation with VTF2 streams. At some point last week a comment made by Byte on a vanillatf2 article was edited by one of the 25+ people with the admin privileges to do so to say some nasty things. This resulted in a large number of those people losing their admin privileges including myself. While I won’t make any attempt to hide my personal feelings about the guy, I’d like to think over the last 5 years I’ve proven myself honest and trustworthy enough that I wouldn’t be seriously considered as a suspect for such an act. The fact that I clearly am has really made me reconsider if that’s an organization and I liked to be involved with, and the honest answer I have to that is no.

This isn’t a “goodbye TF2” post, I’ll still be doing Pirate Radio when cx and greg can sober up long enough to do it, my TF2 server is still available to the half a dozen people who borrow it regularly, and any mumble’s I’m running won’t be going down. I’ve just had so many people PM me about various things I’m no longer involved with and felt like I really needed to get some of this stuff off my chest so I could move on.

edit: I’ve spoke to Torden today and last night, so the VTF2 thing has been resolved. There was a bit more to it that I wasn’t aware of, so I apologise for that.

Last edited by Skyride, 11 years ago