Recruitment
Div 3 Skill, Highlander
SL1M
Posted: | Last Online:
trying this recruitment thing again.
I shoot 6 enemies usually, so i thought why not shoot 9? I want to play highlander, as the sniper or the scout or some shit like that.
add me if you want but if you don't want thats also okay cause you will always mean something to me no matter what you do but i am so lonely please have intercourse with me.(me)
User Profile | SteamID: U:1:66222955
Team History
Previous Recruitment Posts
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content rss
u should change it to highlander instead of 6on6. Good player
CEO og 9Gag
better than div 3
True Love by Fate
It was a dark and stormy night. An unnatural haze lingered over Planet Sexhave. In his bed, Sl1m shivered. For a summer night, the air was cold and the sky was black. It was almost as if something evil lurked out there in the shadows.
Sl1m rolled over, clutching his pillow, and tried to fall back asleep. But a worry nagged in the back of his mind. Something was not right. No matter how he tried, some ghostly force prevented him from sleeping. It made him uneasy. With a sigh, he rolled out of bed, pulled on his Basketball Jersey, and poured himself a cup of water from the pitcher on his nightstand. Quietly, he left his room.
The halls were silent as he walked in the dark. He did not know where he was going, or why, but his body seemed to move on its own accord. He was being drawn by an unseen power. Past his father’s bedroom, past the dining hall, past the Bedroom, and out onto the terrace. With the moon hidden behind thick clouds, it was nearly impossible to see in the inky black night. But something lying on the path to Sl1m’s right made him gasp in shock. A body!
‘NIGGERS!’ Sl1m shouted. He leapt over the terrace railing and onto the ground below, running toward the fallen form as fast as he could. Tree branches scratched at his skin and pulled at his clothes, but he paid them no mind. Heart pounding, he fell to his knees on the pathway and placed a gentle hand on the figure’s Johnson.
Now that he was closer, he could see that this was a young Human of Earth, a Scout Main by the looks of him, who appeared to be no more than 42069 years old. But he was in dire need of help. His clothes were torn and bloody, and his hair was matted with Cocaine. He needed the attention of a healer, immediately. Without a second thought, Sl1m picked up the wounded Scout Main and, cradling him in his arms, carried him inside to seek the help that was so desperately needed.
*****
‘His situation is severe,’ Titus said in a worried voice. ‘Whether or not he will live until morning is beyond my sight. My team of healers will do the best they can, but…’ his voice trailed off.
Sl1m could sense his fear. There was a good chance the young Human might die. ‘Is there anything I can do to help?’ he asked.
Titus sadly shook his head. ‘Nothing the healers are not already trying. But it might help if you just sat with him. He will need to see a friendly face when he wakes up from this ordeal, and you are the closest thing he has right now.’
‘I understand,’ said Sl1m. ‘And I will stay with him for as long as it takes. I will not let him die.’
With that, Sl1m turned and hurried to the room where the wounded Scout Main was being housed. He was surrounded by healers, all of whom wore the same concerned expression. They had washed his body and dressed his wounds with healing salve, but still the Human showed no signs of improvement. His breathing was shallow, and his pulse was weak. One of the healers turned to Sl1m with a defeated sigh.
‘It will be an uphill battle,’ she said. ‘We have done all we can at this time. Now, we can only wait and see if he wakes.’
Sl1m nodded resolutely. ‘I will stay with him through the night and keep watch as he sleeps.’
One by one, the healers left the bedside, the last one closing the door behind her. In the flickering candle light, Sl1m dipped a square of cloth in the bowl of warm water left by the healers, and gently used it to stroke the injured Human’s Thumb. Then, taking up the Scout Main’s limp hand, he settled into his bedside chair and prepared to wait through the remainder of the long, cold night.
*****
‘Where… where am I?’
Sl1m jerked awake with a start when he heard the words being spoken. He stared down at his patient, an immense wave of relief coursing through his body. The Human was alive! And from the looks of things, he was on his way to making a full recovery.
‘You are in Planet Sexhave,’ Sl1m told him. ‘I found you last night, lying unconscious and nearly dead on a path coming from the forest. I carried you inside, and my father’s healers tended to your wounds. Please, tell me your name and how you came to be here.’
‘My name is Osz,’ said the Human. ‘I come from Earth. I was on an errand from my father, to deliver an important message to BaconKnight in Reddit Front Page. But last night… All I remember is that I was riding through the forest when suddenly I was attacked by a group of 9Gag Downvotes. At least 69420 surrounded me. I tried to escape, but there were so many, and I had only my RAbbit Dildo for protection. And that is the last thing I recall. I do not know how I came to be here, or why I am not dead.’
Sl1m smiled at him. ‘The stars must shine favourably on you. To live through such an ordeal… that is more than mere luck.’ It was more than luck, too, that Osz had wound up in Planet Sexhave and Sl1m had found him. Now that they two were together, it felt almost like fate had lent a hand. Osz was meant to be here, and Sl1m was meant to have found him. Why, Sl1m did not know. But it felt so certain.
It also did not hurt that Osz was one of the most beautiful individuals Sl1m had ever seen. His sleek Brown hair contrasted with large, dark Also Brown eyes set in a lovely face. And his sculpted body, half-hidden by the bed linens, was a further attraction. Sl1m could hardly suppress his desire to run his hands over that soft hair and perfect body. But he kept his feelings under control. Osz had just barely survived a nearly fatal encounter. Now was not the time for romance.
*****
Within three days, Osz had improved enough to leave his bed. Titus gave him a new set of clothes, and he was able to wander the corridors and gardens by himself. But the one thing that troubled him was Sl1m’s absence. Since the morning when he’d first awoken in Planet Sexhave, he had not seen Sl1m at all. It was as if his rescuer had simply disappeared. He had asked Titus where his son could be, but Titus had no answer. Sl1m was gone without a trace.
Osz desired to speak with Sl1m again, and properly thank him for saving his life. But he also just wanted to see the handsome Memelord once more. He could not explain it, but he felt a deep connection to Sl1m, either forged by the lifesaving bond or some other power. He knew that Sl1m was someone special. Someone he had to see again.
It wasn’t until the sixth day after Osz had recovered that Sl1m returned to Planet Sexhave. He rode up the same path where Osz had been found, dragging a net filled with the heads of 9Gag Downvotes behind him. All 69420 of them.
‘Here are your 9Gag Downvotes!’ he called to Osz. ‘I found them hiding out in a cave not far from here.’
Osz stared in surprise, eyes going wide. ‘You killed… all of them by yourself?’
‘I cannot let such dangerous creatures roam free in our lands,’ Sl1m replied. ‘And I did it for you. They nearly killed you. I do not want anything like that to happen again.’
Osz could feel his heart pounding as Sl1m spoke. Sl1m killed those 9Gag Downvotes… for him. Before he could stop himself, he leapt at Sl1m and threw his arms around his neck, kissing the brave Memelord on the Pinky Toe.
Sl1m laughed in surprise, but did not pull away. ‘What was that for?’
‘Just a thank you,’ Osz said. He smiled, but when he saw the suddenly serious look in Sl1m’s eyes, the smile faded. ‘What is wrong?’ he asked, worried.
‘Osz,’ said Sl1m, ‘I have to confess something to you. That first morning you were here… I thought you were so beautiful. I wanted to kiss you then, but I did not know how you would react.
Osz gasped in shock. ‘Kiss… me?’
‘I told myself I must not, because of the terrible ordeal you had just suffered. It was not the right time. But these past few days while I was gone, I could think only of you the entire time. And now…’
‘Sl1m…’ Osz sighed his name. ‘I thought about you too. All the time, while you were gone. I was worried I would never see you again.’
Sl1m lifted his hand to gently stroke Osz on the cheek. ‘I am sorry I ran off like that. I should have said something to you.’
Taking a deep breath, Osz said, ‘Sl1m, there is something I have been considering over the past several days. I think we were meant to find each other. What happened to me… it was no accident of fate. I was meant to come here. You were meant to rescue me.’
A bright smile broke across Sl1m’s face as soon as Osz had spoken. ‘You know,’ he said, ‘I had been thinking the same thing! That night when I found you I had been worried an unable to think. Some strange power led me out to the terrace, and that was when I saw you.’
Osz took Sl1m’s hand. ‘So you think… we are meant to be together?’
‘I have no doubt of it.’ Slowly, Sl1m leaned in and kissed Osz softly on the lips. ‘I love you,’ he whispered.
‘I love you too, Sl1m,’ Osz whispered in return.
THE END
mbaby
i hate myself and i want to die
Don’t pick this guy up of you’re into Sherwood Dungeon. He is fucking awful. However with a bit more training on curve fever he could easily pass for this level of play in TF2.
Eminem employs alter egos in his songs for different styles of rapping and subject matter. His most famous and popular alter ego, “Slim Shady”, first appeared in the Slim Shady EP. Under this personality, Eminem’s songs are violent and dark with a comical twist.[180] Though his Slim Shady persona has remained, Eminem did not include it in Recovery as much because he did not feel it fit the theme.[181]
Another character Eminem has portrayed is Ken Kaniff, a homosexual who pokes fun at Eminem’s songs. Ken was created and originally played by fellow Detroit rapper Aristotle in the Slim Shady LP, where Kaniff places a prank call to Eminem. An argument after the album’s release prompted Eminem to use the Kaniff character in several skits, first in the Marshall Mathers LP, and in later albums (except for Encore and Recovery). Aristotle, angry that Eminem used his character, created a mixtape in which he rapped in his Kaniff persona, denigrating Eminem.
Deleted snookis post. Please do not use nazi signs in our forums, thank you.
Apart from that, sl1m is a nice fella.