Recruitment
Div 4/Div 5 Skill, 6v6
swimp
Posted by Sheridyn: | Last Online:
I am an international man of mystery and I have a large array of trenchcoats. My trenchcoats are as colourful as they are voluminous. The pockets are handy for long road trips because they can store a great number of Snickers bars. I have an abstract hatred of all things human and if you are to join this team you must own a fur suit.
If the above paragraph makes no sense to you then you have passed the first test. If you can put up with people from Yorkshire then you have passed the second test (a love of all things corn- and farming-related is an added bonus). If you have passed these two tests and are A NICE PERSON capable of appreciating English humour, then you sir/madam are eligible to contact Sheridyn on Steam for further information.
Addendum:
Here at swimp we are an equal opportunity employer and occasionally we even grant women the right to speek freely and other such cultural revelations. However the time has come to announce that the player we are looking for needs to come from a specific market; namely we are searching for someone who is English or as close to English as possible. Take Mortal for example, we allow him into the team because we aren't convinced he's Danish and because he taught weasel how to say cream in his native language. Here at swimp we think that type of stuff is adorable so please don't hesitate to contact us if you are more adorable than Mort in any way. Remember: swimp is a family organisation. swimp cares. swimp is forever.
DISCLAIMER: Justin Beiber haircuts not wanted because the mumble has three of those already and one of those is Norweigian and frankly I cannot begin to describe just how wrong that truly is.
Addendum #2:
Should you happen to be a stoop-down man, we would be very interested to hear from you and negotiate a purchase of a constant supply of your Hot Nuts. Straw hat and cane optional.
Addendum #3:
Because we here at swimp are all about the equal opportunities, we are changing our search to one for a person capable of playing soldier/scout/demoman (as backup) to a div 5 level or above.
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Boss. That is all.
NICE guys only
I played with 4 of these guys in Nervous Energy and while they were nice guys to talk to, how they handled leaving the team was nothing short of douchebaggery to the highest degree. I ain’t gonna say anything else other than YOU’VE BEEN WARNED.
I played with 4 of these guys in Swimp and while they were nice guys to talk to, how they handled my constant sexual advances was nothing short of wankbuggery to the highest degree. I ain’t gonna say anything else other than YOU’VE BEEN WARNED! DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN
Sheridyn binded his ‘kill’ to right mouse so whenever he pops a uber he suicides, dropping it instead. He has however in recent weeks figured out that it is best not to do that, but at the cost of not healing anyone after he has the uber and needling people down, to be fair he does do a decent job of it so I’ll give him credit, I saw him needle 5 people down then the enemy medic tried to needle him down Sheridyn was like – ‘Boss Medic time’ and jumped at him with the uber saw. Unfortunately he had binded his melee slot to suicide and killed himself and the medic capped last. Was a shame because it was the most epic piece of medic skill I have ever seen….right until the point he lost his team the round.
Despite this I can confirm Sheridyn rarely lets gay spawn affect him on Granary on red side, because he usually has suicide binded to a key.
Good luck panda.
Post updated.
Gaish can i be on your team gaish, I’m the lovable mascot, more lovable and adorable than Mort because I’m English
Muzzlekosh.
My name is Mr Goldstein, I am from the holy land of the chosen people. I play this game Team Fortress because it has 9 classes and I am very good at mathematics so I am able to calculate what percentage uber we have without looking at the ubercharge meter.
I can play soldier well but I do not hit the airshooting flying men as they are fast and hard for my mouse to go across the screen at a quick enough rate.
Also I can only play weekdays as Sunday is the sabbath or day of rest for my people and my wife, Matilda is very strict about our meal times, we have to eat at 6pm exactly every evening and no Ham as that is not kosher.
If my requirements are to meet your specifically specified specifications then add me on steam at ‘Rabbiah42’. Please be aware sometimes my interweb connectivity is disrupted by Palestinians in our holy land, but all is well as we have the Americans on our side.
my favourite american comp team, probably going to win esea-i (you mad thps)
+frag
Changing our search to one for a general backup player, bumping.
bump