Forum

I got inspired by a thread in a forum where the topic was ‘best barney stinson (HIMYM) lines’. As not everyone watches How I Met Your Mother, I thought one should do it with every show!
Just quote your favourite lines from any show you watch and maybe explain the situation. You could even add a youtube clip.

How I Met Your Mother

Barney Stinson (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozLMx1E_Oac )

blows his nose
– My nose is just overflowing with awesome and I had to get some of it out.

– When I’m sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

– In my body, where the shame gland should be, there’s a second awesome gland. True story.

Barney calling Ted while he’s playing lasertag
– Hey loser! How’s not playing lasertag, because playing lasertag is AWESOME!

– Jesus waited THREE days to come back to life. It was perfect! If he had only waited ONE day, a lot of people wouldn’t have even heard he died. They’d be all, “Hey Jesus, what up?” and Jesus would probably be like, “What up? I DIED yesterday!” and they’d be all, “Uhh, you look pretty alive to me, dude…” and then Jesus would have to explain how he was resurrected, and how it was a miracle, and the dude’d be like “Uhh okay, whatever you say, bro…” And he’s not gonna come back on a SATURDAY. Everybody’s busy, doing chores, workin’ the loom, trimmin’ the beard, NO. He waited the perfect number of days, THREE. Plus it’s SUNDAY, so everyone’s in church already, and they’re all in there like “Oh no, Jesus is DEAD, and then BAM! He bursts in the back door, runnin’ up the aisle, everyone’s totally psyched, and FYI, that’s when he invented the high five. That’s why we wait three days to call a woman, because that’s how long Jesus wants us to wait. True story. ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZkmheRE9zi4 )

Randy talking to Barney(HIMYM)
– I’ve been reading your blog for years. You’re like a god to me. That’s why tonight is gonna be legendary – wait for it – dary! ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooiFJcezdoo )

Scrubs

Elliot: – Is there something you want?
Cox: – Yes, it is one of those rare days where you could be use to me. You speak german, I have a patient from berlin and I need to tell the gentleman that he has fluid in his lungs.
Elliot: – Ihre Frau hat einen schönen Busen.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgRd4CL5eDw

Kelso: – What has two thumps and doesn’t give a crap? Bob Kelso, how are you doing?

Dr. Kelso: I got you a present for your trip to Mexico. It’s my old Spanish to English dictionary. I don’t need it anymore, I’ve mastered the language.
Dr. Clock: Gracias, Señor.
Dr. Kelso: You’re welcomo.

J.D.: Look, uh… Janitor…
[the Janitor rolls his eyes]
J.D.: …I’m gonna be straight with you: I saw your penis, and I noticed a possible melanoma that you should really have checked out.
Janitor: When did you see my penis?
J.D.: Last night, when you were showering.
Janitor: Where were you?
J.D.: Oh, I was outside, in the bushes.
[the Janitor takes a second to process this answer]
Janitor: Uhhh…
J.D.: Look, it was just a coincidence, man – I mean, i-i-if you had looked out the window, you’d have seen my penis, you know!
Janitor: What? Why?
J.D.: Because I had it out while I was looking at yours!
(rofl http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SobnBZVtFa0 )

LOST

Charlie talking to Desmond
Charlie: You know how to golf?
Desmond: I’m Scottish! Cheers!

There are sooo many that I can’t even think of more ;)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3LAnmnS0-9g

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGTJSorTQvw#t=1m06s

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rl0N20lAl5o

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdoXhvHvK3I
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-zxyjZZRjQ

WHO LOVES ORANGE SODA

Quoted from infussle

You come at the king, you best not miss.

Also, pretty much every other line from ‘Walk Hard: The Dewy Cox Story’

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qoIvd3zzu4Y