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Some bad news, sorry friends. love you all
Created 22nd March 2021 @ 07:06
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https://twitter.com/sheepydogshand/status/1373877599093596160
Tweet just says:
Hey guys, I was in denial but Its Paranoid Schizophrenia. I’m still me so please don’t think any differently of me. I’ve got it it under control at the moment. Thanks for being so patient everyone, I don’t want to use this to excuse any past behavior I just thought my friends should know.
Just thought my friends should know this, I should be able to play a lot more now I hope.
—
Okay some people don’t seem to understand. First of all this is something that’s taken years (since I was a teenager) to be diagnosed. There were warning signs in the past where I would have psychotic episodes as a teenager and the doctors had no idea and assumed it was drugs. Last year I was in the hospital for a long time after a particularly bad psychotic episode where I had some seriously terrifying delusions that once again was thought to be drugs (despite me being sober at the time), I don’t want to get into it because I have still not recovered and it was the worst experience of my life.
After going home a couple weeks later I had another psychotic episode, this is when the doctors realized something was wrong so I have spent a while away under supervision of my parents. I’m heavily medicated and this might be something ill have for the rest of my life. Thankfully the medications i’m on seem to be keeping me normal despite a few side effects.
I just wanted to write this for my friends to know.
Last edited by sheepy dog's hand,
dude go see a therapist,
no one on this forum is actually gonna think twice over your stuff except for a select few.
ive seen enough of your posts to determine that you’re probably a fine young lad but please get a grip and find some professional help because posting on this forum is not gonna help you further along in life
im not joking.
quit gaming, its probably your addicition. go take a walk. get a peacefull hobby like painting..
akachu out
Quoted from akachu
dude go see a therapist,
no one on this forum is actually gonna think twice over your stuff except for a select few.
ive seen enough of your posts to determine that you’re probably a fine young lad but please get a grip and find some professional help because posting on this forum is not gonna help you further along in life
im not joking.
quit gaming, its probably your addicition. go take a walk. get a peacefull hobby like painting..akachu out
I’m not insane, I still know where and who I am. I haven’t been playing video games recently, for obvious readings. I just want people to know that mental illness is horrible but it can be managed. Thanks to my doctor and modern medicine I can remain relatively stable. I just want to stress there is a lot of stigma around this, im not some crazy person and i’m definitely not violent and don’t want to be treated any differently.
This illness doesn’t just suddenly come on, it’s something that’s been gradually increasing since I was a young teenager, I would just always find excuses. After so many years, tests doctors visits ect the most likely cause is some kind of schizoaffective disorder. It’s incredibly difficult to pinpoint what it is I exactly have. Don’t worry I have been getting as much professional help as I can and I am going to be staying with my dog for the most part at my parents.
It’s not life-threatening and please don’t assume this is me making some kind of excuse for me being an idiot in the past. I can assure you I am still an idiot and everything I say or do is on me.
glad you’re properly diagnosed since that’s the first step to a recovery (not necessarily a “cure” just better quality of life) my thoughts are with you king
Quoted from akachu
dude go see a therapist,
no one on this forum is actually gonna think twice over your stuff except for a select few.
ive seen enough of your posts to determine that you’re probably a fine young lad but please get a grip and find some professional help because posting on this forum is not gonna help you further along in life
im not joking.
quit gaming, its probably your addicition. go take a walk. get a peacefull hobby like painting..akachu out
100% agreed, sheepy stop posting on forums and take care of yourself brother, the ones who care about you wont judge you anyway so all you’re doing is giving yourself exposure to ill-willed people
I got messages from some old TF2 friends and some from other games and I even ended up with wonderful messages from people I didn’t even know at the time, where they would give me so much encouragement and the simple but wonderful advice of taking it one day at a time. People who were complete strangers went out of their way to get in contact with me and support me in this incredibly difficult time of my life. My friends of course always support me and I’m incredibly lucky to have such a wonderful group of people who are willing to tolerate me with kindness, despite me not always being the easiest person to deal with.
I even got messages of support from people who I had wronged in the past and they had some pretty valid reasons for disliking me. They forgave me and I apologized, this community can be good. It doesn’t have to be like this. All I have gotten is support, kindness and respect. This community can be so much better, its a small community filled with wonderful people. I have faith that things will get better.
After having a consultation yesterday with my doctor and a specialist on the subject, I should make it clear I have what’s called “Schizoaffective disorder” which is a bit different. It’s more of a mixture of bipolar with my manic episodes and the delusions and acute confusion from the schizophrenia. A good way I saw it put was:
when a person has delusional thinking and other symptoms of schizophrenia. But they also present with one or more symptoms of a mood disorder: depression, mania and/or hypomania.
It’s mostly the mania that is causing my problems. Some of you who know me and look it up will probably have been able to notice when i’m going through it.
“Symptoms of mania include elevated or irritable mood, grandiosity (inflated self-esteem), agitation, risk-taking behavior, decreased need for sleep, poor concentration, rapid speech, and racing thoughts.”
Hopefully with medication I can keep it under check. It’s the psychosis that scares me, I’ve had two episodes of full blown full psychosis, the first time it happened was by far the worst experience of my life, I had no idea what was happening and still have nightmares. Still I am optimistic that the meds can keep me under check and i’ve got such a wonderful support with doctors, nurses and my family, so thank you.
I know there are those of you out there who struggle on a daily basis, we all have our problems and I don’t want it to seem like I have it worse when Ii haven’t been struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts like I know many of you have. I find it helps to talk about it sometimes so i’m all ears, its something that should be talked about. I’ll post some links if you are interested in the illness. I also want to end the stigma and i’m writing an article about autism being used as a slur but thats another story,
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizoaffective_disorder
Last edited by sheepy dog's hand,
I think your focus should be on trying to live with this condition though,
and I don’t think that blog posting at 5 in the morning helps with that.
if you need to be on medication for life it would be difficult to travel for extended periods for example.
But I hope you discuss this topic with your therapist.
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