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My first piece went up today on http://www.Team-Rockit.com , this piece is about the semi final game between TCM and TLR. Any CONSTRUCTIVE criticism of my work is welcome!

A link to the first piece can be found here – http://www.team-rockit.com/index.php?mod=scene&action=view&id=164

and favourite it because there will be more coming soon!

The maps are Freight and Gullywash, the last time these two teams met TCM took had won, however it was not enough to make them crowned Division 1 champions

It should be a semi-colon not a comma, the two sentences are not directly related and don’t follow each other exactly. The second part should either be ‘see them crowned Division 1 champions’ or ‘make them Division 1 champions’. You can’t make somebody crowned, the crowning is an action of itself.

You don’t mention which map is being discussed, so I had to refer back to the first paragraph to work out which map you were discussing in the second.

One and a half minutes had passed and TCM were 1:0 up, and TLR left shocked as they were defeated quickly

No commas before ‘and’, you either use one or the other.

The fight back was about to commence, until they wiped at middle

This should say ‘they were wiped at middle’. Currently it implies that TLR wiped out TCM at middle.

Although they had a strong second defence and were able to stop TCM’s attack and pushed them back to their last, where they won their second round to close the gap and make it 3:2.

The ‘Although’ in this sentence relates to the previous sentence, so there shouldn’t have been a full-stop before it. It currently reads as though there is a counter-statement waiting at the end of the sentence, eg. – ‘Although TLR got wiped on middle, they were able to stop TCM’s attack and push them back to middle’.

Springer heroically attacked last with needles, racking up two kills but was not enough for them to win it, however TCM gained their composure and won the game 4:2.

‘but was not’ should be ‘but it was not’, the however should either not be there, or should be preceeded by something like ‘Springer heroically attacked last with needles, racking up two kills before going down, however TCM gained their composure and won the game 4:2.’ You can’t have ‘but’ with however’, it makes the sentence too contradictory and messy.

My Man of the Match award goes to TCM Coinz, he scored highly and took many risks which turned out to be helpful.

This is real nitpicking, but personally I wouldn’t use the word ‘helpful’ here. It sounds to soft, like helping an old lady crossing a street. Instead you could say something like ‘took many risks which paid off for his team’.

So an easy win for TCM moves them into the final, where they are to play idk which will be a game of Team Fortress 2 to remember, with two of the best playing teams in Europe will go at it without points to worry about, so expect some fast paced and risky play which should make it extremely entertaining.

There should be a comma after ‘So’. This sentence is really long, try speaking it aloud, it’s a big mouthful. You could split it up after ‘to remember’ so it would read something like this –
‘So an easy win for TCM moves them into the final, where they are to play idk which will be a game of Team Fortress 2 to remember. Two of the best teams in Europe will go at it without points to worry about, so expect some fast paced and risky play which should make it extremely entertaining.’
I also removed the word ‘playing’, it’s unnecessary, you’re hardly likely to be talking about teams that aren’t playing when refering to their ability (‘best teams’).

I hope that didn’t sound too critical, all the mistakes I pointed out are only minor gramatical errors that can easily be fixed. The content itself was fine, you picked out the important parts of the match such as Skinnie’s needle rampage and Coinz’s backcap. I might have added that the double heavy moment by TCM on freight was effectively the point at which the map was over as a contest.

Quoted from dougiie

really don’t understand why you said all that Snowie, he did a great job on his first try, and you’ve basically just kicked him in the balls.

Quoted from ilike2spin

Hey he asked for constructive criticism and snowie just spent time giving him a load of it.

Oh and make sure that you write the original in word, proof read it yourself and get someone else to proof read it. An extra set of eyes will be good. If you want someone to do that then I’ll happily help, just message me on steam.

Once again I didn’t intend to rubbish what you’ve done, getting the grammar right is only a tiny part of writing, the biggest requirement is having the drive to actually do it. I’d hate to think I’ve harmed that.

GRAMMAR NAZI !!!!!!!!!!!!11111 anyway, good read! keep it up :)