Season 13: Premiership Interviews #3 Captainhax

Interview Transcript

Admirable: Salut mes amis! This is Admirable welcoming you to the third instalment of ETF2L’s Season 13 Interview series where we attempt to extract some insight from the Premier Divisions finest minds.  Today we bring you the Gallic genius of Punchline’s soldier mastermind, Captainhax. Say hello to your fans, Pierre!

Captainhax: Hi everyone!

A: OK man… I’ve started the interviews so far by asking a fairly mundane question about players’ TF2 fashion choices, but as you are French I know you are already incredibly stylish.  Perhaps you would humour me anyway and tell me which hats and miscellaneous items you are planning to wear in Season 13?

C: Oh! Ah… last season I started to wear the… uhm… you know I have like a Chewbacca helmet and beard that make me look like Chewbacca and I had something like ah… what’s… how can I… you know like ah… glasses and a big nose and a moustache… right now I have this miscellaneous thing.

A: Nice!

C: You see what I mean?

A: Yeah! Yeah I like the theme you are going for there… Chewbacca… can you do a Chewbacca impression?C: No I can’t… Plapla can, but I can’t.

A: Wow.

C: I can try but that sounds like…

A: Do it! Do it! The fans want you to do it! Go for it man this is your moment of glory!

C: (flawless Chewbacca impression)

A: Ahahaha!

C: Something like that…

A: OK man! You have satisfied my hat fetish enough… now on to the proper interview… it’s gonna be tough…

C: Mmhmm!

A: I’m going to start off and I’m going to sweeten you up by saying you are one of my favourite soldiers and you are a real asset to your team, but you’ve been playing in the ETF2L 1555 days since you first signed up to a team which is even longer than Darn and you are probably a better soldier than that drunken Finnish mess; why are you not more e-famous?

C: I started to play… I think I was playing during Season 1 with ah FoF at that moment and that was I think in Div 1… ah the last… ah old Premiership… ehm… we only last for a season and after that I’ve decided to stick with French people and ah… due to that was not able to reach higher div and I just stayed in Div 2 – Div3 and that’s it, that’s why I’m not that famous I think.

A: Yeah I can see what you are saying… but… I dunno, I just feel like ah… you’re awesome man! You need to… you need to be represented… you need a fanclub! You need a Captainhax fanclub! When is that going to happen?

C: I know! But ah… for example in the team there is flippy and there is tek who have made a lot video and miniclip and fragshow and stuff like that and that’s why they have like a huge amount of fan and… I’m not like… I don’t want to do such movie because I don’t have time and… it’s just useless and that’s why I have not like a huge amount of fans… I could make a lot of miniclips and stuff like that but I don’t really care actually; I just want my team to win!

A: Yeah… so you think like… flippy and tek are tryhards, but you are just number one? You don’t have to do anything!

C: Yeah eh… especially flippy, he likes when someone says “OK it’s flippy on sniper, he will wipe my face off” and…

A: Eheha! I say that a lot actually!

C: Yeah he has a huge ego…

A: Aha!

C: But that’s OK! That’s OK!

A: Yeah like it’s interesting what you say about French players there, because it seems to me that the French scene is very active and it’s like an unparalleled LAN scene in terms of TF2, and yet it so inaccessible to non-French speakers. Would you like to see more international attendance to French events or are you happy being the big fish in the small pond? Like… what needs to change to bring in players, teams and spectators from outside France?

C: Ah… first of all, that’s nice for me to be the winner of each LAN in France actually, because I am winning stuff, but yeah for example during the last Gamers Assembly in Poitiers, France ah… there was I think Epsilon and uh skeej’s mix with the… something with droso and Luzzu and so on… and yeah that was nice to compete against such player during LAN events. That was nice to have such LAN in France with European players, but every LAN that we are doing France are not like comparable with Gamers Assembly, sometimes it’s just small LANs with not a huge crowd… so working European players there won’t be like… how can I say… so entertaining for them… it would be useless for them.

A: Yeah, but like say for example right now people are talking about “let’s bring TF2 to Dreamhack” or “let’s try and get more events”, do you think it would be better if the European scene just tried to support what is already there in France at the minute or should we be aiming for these big like… pipedreams… like Dreamhack?

C: A supporting the France LAN won’t be that huge for the TF2 community actually.  It’s better to have TF2 in Dreamhack rather that to have ah… a lot of people in French LANs, because French LANs are not like ah… really covered, like in terms of eSports coverage almost nothing compared to Dreamhack and it would be better for TF2 to be ah… I mean I’d rather have huge international events once a year rather than a lot of small events ah… several times a year… it’s better for TF2.

A: We need to make a big impact and get recognised?

C: Yeah that’s it.

A: OK so… I’ve got a little bit of a question here… I’ve thought once or twice about bringing it in… but I’m gonna ask you it anyway; it’s a tough one! So, as I’ve said poldier or er… Punchline’s soldiers and scouts, they’re highly rated by pretty much everyone, however, I am particularly guilty of giving your demoman, Flinn, a hard time when I am casting; from the outside he appears to be the weakest player in your roster. Do you think I’m being unfair? Is this just the way your team likes to play? Do you guys even care about what I say on the stream?

C: Ah… no we don’t really care what people say about the team. We are like a huge family now, we’ve played for… well I started to play with flippy for example for like… I mean two years ago and with Flinn that’s almost the same… and yeah Flinn is the weakest point, it’s clear that he needs to step up but… we don’t… how can I say… we don’t really care right now if… if… I think we can still to… to be… like in top three with Flinn and that will be perfect for us and yeah sometimes he does crappy things and sometimes he is like carrying the team but… I can’t really say… yeah he needs to step up but… I can’t kick him! That would be bad for the mood of the team… we would rather stick like that. Do you see what I mean?

A: Yeah! I absolutely understand, I’m just trying to be mean… trying to get some drama…

C: Ah! There is no drama.

A: But like is that that something… is that something that maybe… you are the caller for the team right?

C: Yeah…

A: Is that a consideration for you? Like do you tell Flinn to play a bit passively when he’s up against kaidus or numlocked? Like can he compete with these like top, top level demomen?

C: Ehm, actually I think he is not that bad, but the main problem with Flinn is gamesense… it’s so crap and he can’t manage to make the good decision against good demoman and I’m trying to make changes to his game style. Right now he is playing passive and eh you can’t play passive against such demomans, you have to be aggressive and you have to focus the demoman and you have to… you have to do some crazy things actually and eh… he don’t think about crazy things.  I’m trying to make him think about it and during PCW I’m trying to make him jump more on the opposite team and stuff like that, so that he can get ah… experience and can think about it during officials.  So we will see what he will be doing during officials, but I am quite confident that now he is a bit more able to compete with numlocked or kaidus… or even Retsh0ck, but yeah he…

A: Retsh0ck?! He’s terrible!

C: Yeah… yeah… Retsh0ck is good but it depends on which days… I will say.

A: Mmmhmmhmmm! Yeah… eh… so… what am I gonna say here… do you think that Flinn himself… does he feel like he doesn’t have confidence, does he think he’s a bad player… well not a bad player, but does he feel… does he feel that he is letting you down or…

C: Yeah, he is certain to be a bad player… ehm… eh… yeah he needs to cheer up a little bit because sometimes eh… he thinks a lot about being bad I think… and he don’t really think about bringing the team down… but he need to more like… how can I… ugh… can’t find my words tonight…

A: Conf… confident?

C: Yeah! Confident! He need to be confident about his uh… gameplay and… he needs to do what he was doing two years ago, because two years ago he was a beast and now he is just… not that beast that he was… eh that was not English at all what I said…

A: Yeah I agree with you, I think confidence is a really big part of playing in the Premiership.  You need to have faith in your decisions and your team mates… and that’s like… so key. But like moving on from this then… totally different change of tack… I’ve already got some good content from you… I’m gonna for the jugular… I’m going for the big drama.

C: Hmm!

A: In the previous interview with HYS, I learned that there is some bad blood between droso (and maybe dOnut) and Punchline. I’d like to sort of play the part of the peacemaker here and see if you can’t get you guys to kiss and make up? Like… what can you tell us about the whole situation?

C: Ah! I won’t say eh we don’t make up with droso… I… I don’t like him, he don’t likes me… he doesn’t like me, I mean… and yeah that’s it… that’s OK… we won’t be friends and that’s fine with me… I’m pretty sure he’s fine with it… but yeah… we didn’t for example with dOnut… we didn’t have any sort of problem with him in the team… and today I just learned from droso himself… I mean it was tek… it was droso telling tek that uh… Nitrose doesn’t want to play us anymore… they just want to play the official versus us because they have to, but they don’t want to play any PCW… because of dOnut and that’s because he doesn’t want to play against us right now… and I don’t know why? Cause we… for example, a week ago, we played versus them and it was pretty good… we didn’t say anything bad or… I can’t… I don’t know… I like them! I like HYS for example, he’s a nice guy and I don’t really have any sort problem with the other ones and I don’t really care about playing against droso as long as he’s keeping his mouth shut and that’s fine with me.

A: Is that eh… is that the main reason that there is this… issue anyway, that droso can’t keep his mouth shut? You think he talks a lot of trash?

C: Uh… yeah… actually, what I don’t like with him is that uh… I’m pretty sure that this guy is uh… such a wanker when is around people that make him feeling more confident about him and when he is with people that… ah… that’s not what I want to say…

A: You mean that when he’s with his friends he talks a lot of shit, but if you met him in real life he wouldn’t say anything?

C: Mmm… not in particular, because for example during Gamers Asssembly, he was with the skeej mix and he was pretty confident about TF2… and I think he was saying bad stuff and I don’t like that… you know when he was doing LAN with French people for example, he was not that confident and saying stuff like he was saying during Gamers Assembly. So that’s mainly the reason why I don’t like him and maybe there’s some bad I did about trolling him and stuff like that… you know it’s like a whole rivalry… but I can’t really say how it all started… it’s like… it’s like when you talk about the… the drama between French and English, for example, they don’t like each other but you don’t really know why.  It was… it started so… it was years ago, so you can’t really say why it started…

A: Eh! Maybe a few wars and stuff might have been part of that?!

C: Yeah… a few wars and stuff but…

A: Have you ever gone to war with droso? Do you feel like you are at war with droso?

C: No no no… I won’t… I don’t…

A: You don’t care about him?

C:  No… yeah… I don’t… I don’t really care, as I said I don’t like him, he doesn’t like me. That’s OK… I don’t really care.

A: So looking to the future… looking in to my crystal ball… will there ever be a chance for you to be ah… to bury the hatchet, you know to put your differences aside and… maybe not be friends, but just be cool with each other?

C: I think we are quite cool with each other right now.  There is no problem with droso at all, as I said the problem with Nitrose comes from dOnut apparently, and droso doesn’t… that’s not droso that says “I don’t want to play against Punchline anymore”, that’s dOnut.  I don’t know why, maybe you should try to interview him?

A: Mmkay.  Well like… just to get off this topic then… just to put it to rest… is there anything you would like to say to droso or dOnut you know… like maybe extend the olive branch…a peace offering… you know?

C: Ah!  The… the eh… thing I want to say is that’s sad to say “I don’t want to play against this team anymore because I don’t like them” that’s a fucking game. OK you don’t like the player you are playing against but that should be… I mean I am quite happy to rape the face of people I don’t like in TF2… and that’s some sort of motivation for me to play against them.

A: Yeah!

C: You know people you don’t like play against… I mean people you don’t like you’re always like “Yeah! I kill him and I’m happy!”

A: Big smile on your face when you kill droso!

C: Yeah! Exactly!  It’s sad… that’s sad… that’s just sad… I like to play against Nitrose because they are an upcoming team and they were quite good. If they don’t wanna play in more that’s fine with me, I will find another opponent… I just think that it’s sad… that’s it.

A: Yeah OK, we’ll get to the bottom of this… once they hear this interview… we’ll find out what’s really going on… but eh… moving on! Next question I’ve got lined up for you man… Season 12 was the real breakthrough season for Punchline.  You got some big results against the top teams, during the season you made the playoffs ah… which was quite an achievement for an all-French side.  But right before you took down TCM Gaming on two maps Epsilon’s manager Slick made an infamous comment on VanillaTF2 that you were, and I quote, “a solid low prem contender” and yet at the start of this season it Epsilon wanted to steal some of Punchline’s players for their new roster. What’s the deal?! What’s the relationship between Punchline and Slick and what do you think of Epsilon in general?

C: Agh… pffff… yeah that’s sad to see that Slick is trying to steal people from other team, but that’s the game… that’s how it’s always worked but eh, saying for example that tek was not that good a soldier and after the season he wants to pick him up to play with Epsilon… that’s… I can’t find the word, but that’s sad.  Ehm… yeah! Tek refused to play with Epsilon because he knows that in Punchline… I mean in Epsilon he won’t find that what he have in Punchline… that sort of family and the friendship and stuff like that.

A: That seems to be something that I hear from like… HYS and Darn in the previous interviews when they put the team together what they are really thinking about or what they want, and I suppose that applies to everybody, is players that they enjoy playing with… but like, for example Epsilon… who have just went and tried to put together the team that is the best, taking the best players… do you think that is gonna be successful for them? Like… if they start to lose games will they just fall apart? What do you think?

C: I have no idea. Sometimes… yeah the people can react ah… bad when they lose… I’m pretty sure that if they lose ah… that will be part with that roster, but who knows?  Eh.. yeah they will probably fold! KnOxXx will rage, Mike will ragequit… and that’s it. Ah… but yeah they won’t probably not gonna lose… I don’t know.

A: Yeah… so like obviously I’m painting Slick out in a bad light here, which is maybe not fair since he’s done a lot for TF2… sends teams to LAN and stuff… but for example, if eh… if the opportunity came up eh… maybe next season… if Epsilon were looking for a team, would you guys consider working with Slick? Would you join Epsilon as a team?

C: Pfff… I have no idea… I can’t say really. I’m not even sure that next year there will be a Punchline team any more. I am considering to quit the game in like six months or something… so I don’t know if they are gonna stick with the… you know gonna try to… replace me or something… I have no idea.

A: Well OK then! Just bouncing of that question then… if you could pick your own replacement, who would you pick to replace you? Do you think you are replaceable?

C: Ah, that will be hard because I’m calling and… I’m like a… so good as soldier!

A: Aha yeah!

C: So you will have to find someone who is as good as me on soldier and someone that is calling or at least capable of calling… and prove ah… during the… the training. I would say that the best replacement… at the moment for me would be Luzzu, because eh… he can speak French and that he’s… I won’t say that he’s a great soldier… like he’s not top of the Premiership but yeah he’s a good soldier.

A: He’s got potential?

C: Yeah he’s got potential. He needs a stable team to improve.

A: OK well let me… let me throw a curveball at you then! I’ll throw a name at you and you tell me what you think: a French player… plays soldier… top level experience… is a caller… Epsilon’s KnOxXx! Could he play in Punchline?

C: Aha! Tough question! Really… I don’t see him playing with Punchline… I don’t know why but… he will be raging… our play style is so different from Epsilon and he won’t be happy with playing with Punchline I think. I have seen that during the ah… Nations Cup because he was playing medic with us… and yeah I don’t think our play style is really OK to fit with KnOxXx’s expectations.

A: OK! OK! So I’ve two more questions for you man… we’re already past the twenty minute mark… but we’ll say… Season 13 is already underway, barely any games have been played an Epsilon are already number one.  Do you think that will change? Where do you see Punchline fitting in to the Premier Division this season?

C: Ah… really I hope we will reach the top four to play the playoff. I think that we can beat BFF… eh…Epsilon will be hard to beat… almost impossible I guess… I think. We have the teams, for example, Decerto and maybe Quarantine… I think we are better than them so it should be an easy game for us with these teams… and after that I think that there is like four team… three team that are almost the same… you, as Crack Clan… and Nitrose… and I think I am missing a team I guess… maybe not… but yeah I think that there is like four team… at least four teams that can pretend to the top three and forth spot… so it will be like a hard competition to reach these spots, but that’s nice…

A: So you think that number one is pretty much a done deal; no one is gonnna compete with Epsilon but it will be really interesting for the three teams below them?

C: Yeah I think Epsilon will be number one. That is almost sure and I guess BFF has all of chance to reach top two and after that it will be something between Nitrose, Punchline and Crack Clan…. I think.

A: Mmm OK I think that is pretty reasonable! So already this season Punchline have used a wildcard, so I’m assuming that you’re going to incur a minor warning from that for Week 1. What do you think of the new stricter rule set ETF2L that’s been imposed on the Premier Division?

C: Ah… that’s a bit of… I mean it’s strict OK, but eh… teams should ah… I mean you have time to schedule the games and stuff like that so yeah if you can’t play during the game… during the due week… that’s OK… I mean you got to be punished for that and ehm… I mean when you sign up you know the rules so… deal with it. The new rules and stuff like that is better for TF2 and games won’t be delayed for like four weeks, like we had in previous season and stuff like that… so yeah that’s nice. Sometimes it’s a pity to use a wildcard during the first week, but yeah I will deal with it.

A: OK and what do you think about STV demos? Is that a good rule? Is that something that you would actually use? Would you sit down maybe? Are you keen? Would you sit down and watch an STV demo from a previous Premiership game and try to figure how to beat your opponent?

C: Nah I don’t have time to watch demos and stuff like that, I will just leave it for the mates… if they wanna… for example k3… he watches a lot of demos I think… and yeah he will like probably to have this demo so easily ah… to find it so easily… so yeah… like it’s… that’s nice for the player from lower div to get experience from top div player and stuff like that… so yeah, yeah it’s nice.

A: Yeah, I’d agree with that. So I’m gonna wrap things up here before we run on to an hour and I’ll say this has been cool… I really enjoyed your French wit. Anything final you want say? You want to plug your sponsors? Your team? You wanna just call out droso again? I’ll give you the chance!

C: No I’m fine with droso you know! But yeah, I’d like to thank doud… it’s our… how can I say… our manager from Punchline… the guy that is paying stuff for us… the LAN and stuff like that. He’s such a nice guy and he is always making us feel more confident about us and that it… I just want to thank him!

A: That’s a beautiful thing! I’d like to thank you for your time and just let everybody know this has been the third in the ETF2L Interview series for Season 13… there will be more coming, so stay tuned!