Recruitment

  Mid Skill, 6v6

Team Team The Dream

Posted by Techspekje: 6 years ago | Last Online: 5 years ago

I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest search for a roamer in the history of ETF2L.

Five score years ago, a great man, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, founded the European Team Fortress Two League. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of pub scrubs who had been seared in the flames of withering random crits. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.

But one hundred years later, the player still is not prem. One hundred years later, the life of the player is still sadly crippled by the manacles of GabeN and the chains of matchmaking. One hundred years later, the player lives on a lonely island of casual in the midst of a vast ocean of TF2center. One hundred years later, the player is still languished in the corners of gamer society and finds himself an exile in his own land. And so we've come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.

In a sense we've come to our nation's league to cash a check. When the architects of our website wrote the magnificent words of the Rules and Server Configs, they were signing a promissory note to which every player was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all gamers, yes, medical men as well as demomen, would be guaranteed the "unalienable Rights" of "Frag, Dominate and the pursuit of Premiership." It is obvious today that ETF2L has defaulted on this promissory note, insofar as her citizens of casual are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, ETF2L has given the casual people a bad check, a check which has come back marked "insufficient skill."

But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of premiership of this league. And so, we've come to cash this check, a check that will give us upon demand the riches of mid playoffs and the security of default wins.

We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind ETF2L of the fierce urgency of Now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of casual. Now is the time to make real the promises of scrim-time. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of casual queue times to the sunlit path of balanced matches. Now is the time to lift our league from the quicksands of open to the solid rock of mid. Now is the time to make mid playoffs a reality for all of GabeN's children.

It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the player's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of fragging and uber drops. Two-thousand-seventeen is not an end, but a beginning. And those who hope that the player needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the league returns to business as usual. And there will be neither rest nor tranquility in ETF2L until the player is granted his mid-playoff rights. The whirlwinds of scrims will continue to shake the foundations of our discord server until the bright day of playoffs emerges.

But there is something that I must say to my people, who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of recruitment: In the process of gaining our rightful place, we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for playoffs by drinking from the cup of saltiness and ragequits. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of GGs and discipline. We must not allow our creative recruitment to degenerate into a meme. Again and again, we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting uber-charge with kritzkreig.

The marvelous new league which has engulfed the gamer community must not lead us to a distrust of all pub scrubs, for many of our casual brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny. And they have come to realize that their playoffs are inextricably bound to our playoffs.
We cannot W alone.

And as we W, we must make the pledge that we shall always hold M1.

We cannot press S.

There are those who are asking the devotees of the forums, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be satisfied as long as the player is the victim of the unspeakable horrors of default wins. We can never be satisfied as long as our wrists, heavy with the fatigue of aiming, cannot gain the satisfaction of winning. We cannot be satisfied as long as the player's basic mobility is from spawn to second point. We can never be satisfied as long as our players are stripped of their self-hood and robbed of their dignity by signs stating: "For Premiership Only." We cannot be satisfied as long as a player in open cannot scrim and a player in prem believes he has nothing for which to scrim. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until “Justice rains from above!"

I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from casual servers. And some of you have come from areas where your quest — quest for playoffs left you battered by the storms of scouts and staggered by the winds of market-gardening soldiers. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive. Go back to Twofort, go back to Dustbowl, go back to Well, go back to Turbine, go back to Goldrush, go back to the train and choke of Foundry, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed.

Let us not wallow in the valley of Badlands, I say to you today, my friends.

And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the ETF2L dream.

I have a dream that one day this team will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all players are created equal."

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Badlands, the sons of former Blu and the sons of former Red players will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the map of Egypt, a map sweltering with the heat of M1-pyros and backburners, will be transformed into an oasis of spy-checking and reflecting.

I have a dream that my five little teammates will one day play in a league where they will not be judged by the color of their hats but by the content of their playstyle.
I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day, down in Twofort, with its vicious gibus-sentries, with its ubered-heavy having his gun dripping with the bullets of "interposition" and "nullification" — one day right there in Twofort little engies and spies will be able to join hands with little demomen and soldiers as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day every mid shall be captured, and every roamer and pocket shall be airshot, the flank scouts will be made dead, and the chokes will stickied; "and the glory of the GabeN shall be revealed and all pixels shall see it together."

This is our hope, and this is the faith that I go back to season 29 with.

With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of default wins a stone of hope. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our team into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith, we will be able to play together, to scrim together, to win together, to go to merc-posts together, to stand up for respawns together, knowing that we will be in playoffs one day.

And this will be the day — this will be the day when all of GabeN's children will be able to sing with new meaning:

My league 'tis of thee, sweet land of participation medals, of thee I sing. Land where my teams died, land of the soldier's pride,
From every server-side, let conches ring!

And if ETF2L is to be a great league, this must become true.

And so let playoffs ring from the prodigious hilltops of mid.

Let playoffs ring from the mighty mountains of high.

Let playoffs ring from the heightening hoodoos of open.

Let playoffs ring from the snow-capped Rockies of Iron.

Let playoffs ring from the curvaceous slopes of Steel.

But not only that:

Let playoffs ring from Stone Mountain of Silver.

Let playoffs ring from Lookout Mountain of Gold.

Let playoffs ring from every hill and molehill of Premiership.

From every mountainside, let playoffs ring.

And when this happens, and when we allow playoffs ring, when we let it ring from every server and every team, from every player and every medal, we will be able to speed up that day when all of GabeN’s children, comp-players and casual-players, Red and Blu, Prem and Open, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old player spiritual:

A win at last! A win at last!
Thank GabeN Almighty, we are a win at last!

tl;dr looking for roamer, contact Techspekje.

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