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Need help! My dad thinks he is the Heavy!

Created 29th September 2016 @ 20:09

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hamaham

$WIZARD
doge

Hello ETF2L, I have a problem. My dad has begun had identity issues ever since I introduced him to Team Fortress 2.

So I decided to introduce my not so gaming father to Team Fortress 2 in order to strengthen our bond a little, I’m not quite sure if it worked.
He started off by testing random characters such as the Scout, Soldier, Engineer, Demoman, however, there was only one class he played for over 2 minutes, the Heavy Weapons Guy.
At first I guess I was glad that he was enjoying the game, and didn’t care for much, but I started getting worried when he wouldn’t come down for dinner, and when he finally did come down, he had put on this terrible fake Russian accent. He didn’t say too much of the Heavy quotes, but he started calling my mom by the name of medic, I thought it would be over by the next day.
I woke up early and found my dad in the kitchen, he looked like an absolute mess, but still put on a smile, I genuinely thought everything was like normal again, he just had trouble sleeping, until he told me, again in a stupid fake Russian accent, he told me that he had been up all night playing Team Fortress 2. Not only that but he wasn’t eating his normal breakfast, he was making the iconic sandwich, only now did I understand how serious of an issue this was, before leaving to work with the sandwich in his mouth while saying “I AM FULL OF SANDWICH! AND I AM GOING TO WORK!”
I was left speechless, I stood still for about 10 minutes thinking of the monster I’ve created.
I was greeted by my mother with a worried expression and I could only imagine how it must be to see the love of your life change personality in less than 15 hours!
I was hoping he’d realize by the time he got home from work that he can’t be doing this and maintain his job or friends.
When I came home from school I found him slouched on the couch with, once again, a sandwich in his hand, he noticed me and called to me, “Scout! Get over here!” I quickly yelled at him, “DAD! I AM NOT THE SCOUT!” only to see him shake his head, “Scout, I am not your father, I am the Heavy Weapons Guy, and THIS, is my weapon!” only to show off his newly bought gaming mouse. I quickly ran upstairs only to start writing this, what do I do ETF2L? He has yet not found out about the whole pootis meme and I’m scared of what will happen once he does, if this keeps up my parents are sure to get a divorce! Help me ETF2L!

So, he’s a heavy main now? I don’t see the problem…

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