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Writing a story. Feedback?

Created 8th April 2009 @ 23:15

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FF63

YOYO\'

The story is set in Midgard, or more commonly known as the Final Fantasy 7 universe. The main character is Rain Strife, Cloud’s brother.

Chapter one:

Rain Strife who was Cloud Strifes brother was one day near Midgar in a city that was small called Strifetown were Cloud Strife was born in and Rain Strife too. Rain Strife was littler then Cloud Strife so he couldnt join Barret and Tifa so he stayed home and stayed. Rain Strife was pracktising so he could one day do it like Cloud Strife and that is the time when it happened when comets came down to Strifetown and killd people in Strifetown and Rain Strifes parents who were Cloud Strifes parents too.

The comets came and killd people in Strifetown and Midgar and every where else and people said really loud “Help us some body soon” and Rain Strife heard it so he went. Rain Strife traveled fast to where loud sounds come from to help them out there. They said all together “Help Rain Strife we are hurting” and Rain Strife said back “I will help you if your hurting” and Rain Strife blew out fire and pickd up some comet off people and bandaided them to health. Then Rain Strife yelled out loud real loud “Sephiroth stop or i make you stop!” and traveled faster to were Sephiroth is.

Rain Strife went traveled over the lands and hills and ground and water and wanted to stop Sephiroth to make him stop hurting people in Strifetown and all other towns in Fantasyworld. Rain Strife stopped at other places and said “All people i will stop Sephiroth and help the people until I do” and the people of Fantasyworld said “Thank you Rain Strife save us like Cloud Strife did before” so he went. On the way to Sephiroths castle in the sky Rain Strife had fight and battle bad guys on the way there. Rain Strife traveled and then BOOM there was fight and Rain Strife had to fight but he didnt have members to help Rain Strife yet so Rain Strife did it himself. The bad guy was like a tree but had wings and fire came out so Rain Strife had to duck alot. Rain Strife went SLASH fast and SLASH cut tree in parts and fell a part and died fast so Rain Strife did win dance and kept traveling faster.

Rain Strife went over hill and saw town and went and he got in and saw bad things puncing people in town so Rain Strife said “STOP!” and fighted them and won them and did win dance and kept talking to see what happen. People in town said “Sephiroth came” and Rain Strife said “NO SEPHIROTH NOT THIS TIME!” and screamed to sky. Then a balck guy with gun on hands said “I help you Rain Strife in to fight Sephiorth in the sky” so Rain Strife said “Thanks you black guy you are in quest” and Rain Strife and black guy with gun hands left town to fight Sephiroth. Rain Strife and black guy talked on the way to travel there to see what happen to them. Black guy said Sephiroth comets came to his town and killed all the family in his house so black guy wanted to kill Sephiroth back. Rain Strife told black guy about Strifetown and all happened so black guy said “I help you more” because the story was sad.

Rain Strife and black guy kept going then all of a sudden BOOM again and a other fight came. Black guy said “This is my fight this time” and shot the bad guys with wepon hands and bad guys said “AHH NO SPEHIROTH WER SORRY WE DIE!” and disapeard so black guy and Rain Strife did win dance and music came when they dance then they kept going. Rain Strife and black guy kept travel on the path then they saw a big city on fire and said “Oh no” both together because it was an important city on fire and Rain Strife and black guy said “We need to help fast!” and ran there but something bad happened!

Positive and negative feedback?

Qun

GoT<3

tl;dr

Skull_Kid

²

randomgeneral

epx^

awesome. best fanfic ever. you win the internet.

Tapley ❤

TEZC
TEZC

I hear incest is rife in Norway.

frooker

try doing sth usefull ;)

FF63

YOYO\'

My father is a polar bear

Jonni

[FB]

HE’S NAKED!!!

Brutallus

“my father is a polar bear”?
Not a lolar bear?

Sabinrenex

dont ask how but i manged to put my hands on square-enix board meeting protocol that took place at 6/4/09,here’s the intersting part

japan sub-boss: oh guys we are FUCKED we got no other ideas how to milk the slightly above average ff7 to its MILLIONZ of fanboys!,oh rikishi yokozuna!

japan sub-boss2: oh hai hai we dont have any idea..we already made the SHITTY advant children and the DECENT psp game..oh we are in trouble sushi-mushi!

japan sub-boss3: god dammit that sabin guy owns in tf2 he’s the BEST hai hai!

japan boss: i got it guys!,lets remake it for ps3…we all saw what happens when we try to create something new like ff12[SUCKS]..so lets redo it and add this etf2l guy story in!

japan sub-boss1: but BOSSSSSSSSSSS we will have to pay him MONEY for that and my little kid is begging me for dragon quest for the wii cuz hes a little japanise shitard that understands nothing at GAMESSS

japan sub-boss2: but your from japan too….bomb nagasaki bomb!

japan sub-boss1: do not worry,instead of rain strife here we will change it to…storm strife!,there we passed the copyright problem like m.bison in street fighter!

all sub-boses: our boss is special,and nippon is number one,we make mostly shit rpg but when its all said and done..they sell more then the degrees in the sun![lame line yes but hey =/]

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