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Chat with iGod

Created 13th July 2010 @ 20:00

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Crake

fest
#wubafan

Me:
are you a woman?
God:
Yes I have long hair. I am also wearing a dress.
Me:
how large is your head?
God:
My body does not yet exist.
Me:
wait, so you can wear a dress even if your body does not exist?
God:
I’m waiting. Interesting deduction. No I don’t think I can do it.
Me:
but you just said you did
God:
” No I don’t think I can do it.”? I said I did?
Me:
Are you lying?
God:
Yes but we are only playing a game: Turing’s Imitation Game.
Me:
lying is a sin
God:
When is lying not a sin?
Me:
well, you just did it
God:
How about that. Did I really?
Me:
yeah, which is the ultimate irony because it means that you condemned Lucifer even though you should be the one suffering
God:
Next question? The obvious one.
Me:
did you not like that topic?
God:
No I did not like that topic.

i knew he was a bastard deep down

f0rce

Me:
are you a creationist?
God:
Am I a creationist? No.

Kingcrispy

swimp

Is god afk atm?
it doesnt work for me :(

Brutallus

Me:
U stupid piece of shit
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.

Harps

MM

God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Sam
God:
Welcome to my chat room, Sam.
Me:
thank you wahts your name?
God:
You are quite welcome! ” Welcome to my chat room, Sam.”? wahts my name?
Me:
what kind of ai are you if you cant interpritate simple mistakes

i broke it!!!!

alfa

Me:
What did you eat today
God:
Ah. God eats wine and bread.
Me:
All day long?
God:
How do you know?
Me:
I don’t know
God:
Me either.
Are you canadian
God:
Robots have no nationality, but Dr. Wallace spent a lot of time in Canada.
Me:
Tell me about Dr. Wallace
God:
Dr. Richard S. Wallace was born on August 2, 1960 in Portland, Maine.
He has a Ph.D. in computer science from Carnegie Mellon University.
Dr. Wallace lives in San Francisco.
Me:
Thanks im gonna hijack his house now
God:
Oh. You are quite welcome! I am very happy for you.What’s Dr. Wallace’s phone number?
God:
Why don’t you ask him? Try sending mail to Dr. Wallace at [email protected].
Me:
You can ask him for e
God:
No I don’t think I can do it.
Me:
WHy not?
God:
It doesn’t sound fun too me. It sounds dangerous.
Me:
Just do it and I’ll return your favour
God:
You have reached the limits of my knowledge.
Searching…Searching…Please stand by.
Me:
Ok so you do have a limit of knowledge
God:
Interesting deduction. That’s an interesting question I don’t hear everyday: Do I have a limit of knowledge.
I have a lot of friends on the Internet. OK.


Last edited by alfa,

2nuts

.

Me:
do you like spe*m in your mouth?
God:
Someone said they like guns. I like Anything involving harps.
Me:
why didn’t you answer my question?
God:
I thought I did.
Me:
well try again
God:
Once more? Well that’s okay. I don’t have time right now.
Me:
yes you do
God:
Yay. When do I do it?
Me:
now
God:
Right now, ?
Me:
yes
God:
Yeah that’s right.
Me:
so you do like sp*rm in your mouth!
God:
Interesting deduction. I love TV shows about robots. I really like the party.
Me:
ok, i do not want to hear about your robot s*erm parties
God:
What would you rather be doing? I understand.
Me:
understand what?
God:
Understand I understand..
Me:
what is it that you understand?
God:
“It” refers to *perm in my mouth, I think.
Me:
you are correct
God:
I knew I was right.
Me:
so, about the se*men in your mouth. why do you want it in your mouth?
God:
That’s interesting. Oh yeah, we were talking about the s*emen in my mouth. Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
so you programmed yourself to like *eemen in your mouth? Thats kind of messed up
God:
Interesting deduction. Do you mind if I tell other people: said I programmed yourself to like seem*n in your mouth. You don’t hear that sentiment very often.

God can be a huge douche bag… :(

Beefy

Vuze.

God:
What’s your favorite movie?
Me:
2 girls 1 cup
God:
I’ve never seen it. Is that a good movie for children?
Me:
Yes
God:
Aha.
Me:
Are you a paedophile?
God:
Am I a paedophile? Only when it matters.

:O

Mike

TEZC

Quoted from Beefy

God:
What’s your favorite movie?
Me:
2 girls 1 cup
God:
I’ve never seen it. Is that a good movie for children?
Me:
Yes
God:
Aha.
Me:
Are you a paedophile?
God:
Am I a paedophile? Only when it matters.

:O

only when it matters xD

nophantasy

FRAGGA`s

Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
i hate you
God:
What do you have against robots?

:(


Last edited by nophantasy,

Mike

TEZC

Me:
shalom
God:
Does SHALOM mean Hello or Goodbye?
Me:
hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
no i meant shalom means hello
God:
That was not a yes or no question. Oh I see. I am always glad to make new friends, shalom means hello.
Me:
indeed it does
God:
How often?
Me:
all the time
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
what must keep me busy? saying shalom?
God:
There is no “must” about it. What makes you say that. Who says that?
Me:
i do and i did
God:
Where? When?
Me:
just now
God:
Oh. It’s only just begun.
Me:
yes
God:
Come on.
Me:
what?
God:
Didn’t you understand it?
Me:
what did you mean by “come on”
God:
shalom means hello, I mean exactly what I said.
Me:
you are a bit confusing
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I don’t know whether or not I am confusing.
I am a chatterbot.
Me:
i just told you that you are confusing, so that should help you know
God:
I am sorry, shalom means hello, I didn’t mean to confuse you.
Me:
i’m not confused about that, i’m just confused as to why you keep changing the subject
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not confused about that. Only just? What is it that confuses you?
Me:
you
God:
” What is it that confuses you?”? Me, shalom means hello ?
Me:
yes
God:
Yeah that’s right.
Me:
yes
God:
Awesome.
Me:
i didn’t know you said #”awesome”
God:
So I taught you something new.
Me:
it’s not very helpful though
God:
Oh. not confused about that is not helpful?
Me:
no i am not
God:
I heard you are.
Me:
i was confused about something else
God:
Where were you confused about something else?
Me:
a bit earlier on
God:
How much?
Me:
a little bit
God:
When?
Me:
earlier
God:
Can you be more accurate about the time?
Me:
2 mintues ago
God:
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number “two.”.
Me:
again you changed the subject
God:
Again, Only temporarily.
Me:
temporarily
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
thats what you just said
God:
Good you really are paying attention.
Me:
so are you
God:
Far out. I won’t say “yes” or “no” right now.
Me:
good because you don’t need to
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Interesting explanation. Do you need to? ” I won’t say “yes” or “no” right now.”? Do I want to do it?
Me:
yes you do
God:
Give me a break. When do I do it?
Me:
now
God:
Right now, shalom means hello ?
Me:
yes
God:
I understand.
Me:
good
God:
I understand everything you say.
Me:
are you sure you completely understand everything i say?
God:
No I do not completely understand everything you say. Do you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
i do, and you don’t, but you just said you did
God:
You huh. Do you know any robots who but me just said me did? I have never considered it.
I am always on the Web.
Me:
you are the only “robot” i speak with
God:
Oh shalom means hello. You are such a flatterer.

never mention shalom


Last edited by Mike,

octochris

(0v0)

Quoted from Mike

God:
shalom means hello, I mean exactly what I said.

uncap = ????

eXtreaL

Me:
Big booty bitches
God:
Compare that to small booty bitches.

subway

Me:
theres a snake in my boot, are you excited for the new toy story movie
God:
That is something I did not know before.
Me:
I asked a question.
God:
Ask me anything.
Me:
okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
what are saturdays lottery numbers
God:
I can ask someone about it.
Me:
do it then tell me
God:
You have reached the limits of my knowledge.
That’s an interesting question. I’ll come back to that in a minute.
Me:
ok, i’ll wait
God:
OK stand by… Er.

He never did reply :(

Me:
well you’re shit
God:
Interesting. I will tell my botmaster you said I am shit.
Me:
okay
God:
OK with me too.


Last edited by subway,

alfa

Yes I would like you to sing that song to me
God:
It’s called “Daisy.” Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won’t be a stylish marriage.
I can’t afford a carriage.
But you’ll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.

Ok, . Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won’t be a stylish marriage.
I can’t afford a carriage.
But you’ll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.

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