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penis + cellotape

Quoted from GibbZ

penis + cellotape

Baddie.

Gaffer tape is superior.

claw

has topic of conversation on etf2l really sunk to this now?

palm

i often use my nasal cavities

Long but this should answer your question.

One day, a small girl was walking through the woods behind her house looking for a friend, any kind of friend, be it human or plant or animal. She picked up any fruits she found, growing on trees or laying on ground, whispering to them and giggling to herself whilst awaiting a reply.

Yet all apples lay silent, all dandelions answered with naught but a sting to the nose and an implied warning to not dare stray long in the woods. Fawwles, however, the brave young lady that she was, stood strong in the face of adversity, never faltering, never flinching, her resolve as strong as that of a million Grecian gods.

But this forest held so many secrets, so many beings that were beyond the comprehension of even the most learned human, yet alone a nubile, uninformed twelve year old with shortcake on the brain and fresh strawberries in her satchel. The scent of the berries brought about movement in the forest’s many beings. A cacophonous noise swept over the patch of trees under which Fawwles lay, her ribbon being ripped from her hair and her freckles being peeled away by the great winds. She chased, rather hopelessly, after the flying red dots, hoping to catch them so that her youthfulness would not escape from her. Little did she know, the winds were being manipulated by the greatest evergreen god of all, a creature that was identified in folk tales as a horrible mixture of a buffalo and a man. All the local sages would gather around the town fires, weaving their personalized versions of The Tapley Creation Myth.

The most commonly accepted one involves a rather brave fellow, a former hero of the Eleven
Year War, who was presumed lost in the battles. As he crawled and staggered through the fields of Jedonia, he saw fleeting glimpses of a mound of black. Fuzz appeared to protrude from this mound, yet he could never get close enough to be sure. Was this another monster that he would have to fight? A friendly hermit suffering from a peculiar imbalance of the humours?

Well, no. None of those things. It was a buffalo. And that hero, that brave Jedonian, he fucked the SHIT out of that buffalo. Rode that thing sidesaddle, had it dripping wet, drip drip dripping wet. The buffalo was taught many things, the first of which was what a “sex” room was, the second of which was that you actually can reproduce interspecially. And thus Tapley was born.

Anyway, Tapley ripped off Fawwles’s head and then teabagged her a lot and from his ballbag burst forth a group of fifteen red eyed warriors.